Discussing the Internet with People Who Don't Understand What the Internet Is.

This is a conversation from a meeting I had at my office today. Background: We were discussing a redesign of our organization's website. The other person in this meeting is not a 'dumb' person. But this was not her shining moment.

And because of that, I've chosen to call this other person "Candi" --- with an 'i'.

Candi: Can everyone see that website?

Me: Of course, I found it by doing a Google search.

Candi: But… I thought just you and I could see this site. Is this site live?

Me: Yes, it has been live for months.

Candi: But the site is not correct.

Me: No, it’s not.  This is why we’ve been trying to have this meeting for the last three months.

Candi: But I only thought that we could see the site.

Me: How did you see the site when you were in your office?

Candi: I googled it.

Me: *purses lips*

Candi: Where’s the old site?

Me: It doesn’t exist anymore. It was replaced with the new site.

Candi: It must exist.  Where do you keep it? Perhaps in your filing cabinet?

Me: It does not exist in my filing cabinet or within the files on my computer. It’s gone.

Candi: Where do websites go when you take them down?

Me: Nowhere. Either the website gets pulled down because you stop paying for it, or in this case, you replace it with a new site.

Candi: But the old website must still exist.

Me: It doesn’t.

Candi: But it did exist.

Me: It did. And now it does not.

Candi: But it used to be an actual website.

Me: It was a website, not a dead person. The old site doesn’t exist. There is no cemetery of dead sites.

Candi: *continues to look confused*

Me: *still silent*

Candi: Are you sure the website’s not out there somewhere, like a ghost website.

Me: I hate to inform you, but there is no internet heaven. There are no website ghosts.

Candi: But…

Me: No.

Candi: ehh…

Me: No.

…

Me: Just. No.

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It's days like this I wish I didn't have to interact with people at all.